Jokes (READ FIRST POST)

[hamish]

Stop me if you've heard this, its a classic!!!

What did one snowman say to the other??? Do you smell carrots????????????

Roy, I don't get that one. sorry.

[sfc red]

What's Rico's favourite food??









Maca-damien nuts....I'll get my coat

[hamish]

What's Rico's favourite food??

Maca-damien nuts....I'll get my coat

Jaysus I don't get that one either?? Sorry too sfc red

[paul_oshea]

whats teh definition of pressure?

a wife, a mortgage, a mistress and they are all a month late!

[hamish]

whats teh definition of pressure?

a wife, a mortgage, a mistress and they are all a month late!

What's a definition of pain and pressure?

A Castlerea man sliding down a steep embankment using his balls as brakes.

[gustavo]

Roy, I don't get that one. sorry.

Snowmen traditionally have carrots for noses

[gustavo]

A Vaseline salesman is driving through the country, when his car starts leaking and loses all its oil. Not knowing what to do, he fills the engine with Vaseline, thinking that it is similar to oil, and drives away. It works fine until about half an hour later, when the engine gets real warm, and the Vaseline melts, and runs out through the same hole as the oil did. This time there is a farm nearby, so he decides to look for a phone.

Meanwhile, inside the farmhouse, the farmer, his wife, and daughter are having a fight about who's going to do the dishes. "I did them this morning," complains the farmer. "Well I did them at lunch," says his wife. "And I'm tired from doing all the farmwork," says the daughter. So the farmer, in a stroke of brilliance, decides that they will settle it by all taking off their clothes, lying on the floor, and declaring that the first one to speak gets to do the dishes.

The Vaseline saleman gets to the front door, and rings the bell. No one answers so he goes in and looks for a phone. He eventually stumbles into the kitchen, and ignoring the odd sight, asks for a phone. No one answers, so he goes and looks some more. Still no luck, so he goes back to the kitchen. They still won't answer, so he decides to see what else he can get away with. He has sex with the daughter several times, bemused by her silence, then finally goes and looks for the phone again. A while later, he comes back, looks at the wife, and says, "Why not?" After having sex with the farmer's wife, he is getting tired and exasperated. He thinks, maybe if they have some Vaseline, I can drive my car for another half-hour. So he asks, "Do you have any Vaseline?" at which the farmer jumps up and yells, "I'll do the dishes!"

[hamish]

Snowmen traditionally have carrots for noses

Know that but my dirty mind thought there was more to it than that. sorry.

[hamish]

A Vaseline salesman is driving through the country, when his car starts leaking and loses all its oil. Not knowing what to do, he fills the engine with Vaseline, thinking that it is similar to oil, and drives away. It works fine until about half an hour later, when the engine gets real warm, and the Vaseline melts, and runs out through the same hole as the oil did. This time there is a farm nearby, so he decides to look for a phone.

Meanwhile, inside the farmhouse, the farmer, his wife, and daughter are having a fight about who's going to do the dishes. "I did them this morning," complains the farmer. "Well I did them at lunch," says his wife. "And I'm tired from doing all the farmwork," says the daughter. So the farmer, in a stroke of brilliance, decides that they will settle it by all taking off their clothes, lying on the floor, and declaring that the first one to speak gets to do the dishes.

The Vaseline saleman gets to the front door, and rings the bell. No one answers so he goes in and looks for a phone. He eventually stumbles into the kitchen, and ignoring the odd sight, asks for a phone. No one answers, so he goes and looks some more. Still no luck, so he goes back to the kitchen. They still won't answer, so he decides to see what else he can get away with. He has sex with the daughter several times, bemused by her silence, then finally goes and looks for the phone again. A while later, he comes back, looks at the wife, and says, "Why not?" After having sex with the farmer's wife, he is getting tired and exasperated. He thinks, maybe if they have some Vaseline, I can drive my car for another half-hour. So he asks, "Do you have any Vaseline?" at which the farmer jumps up and yells, "I'll do the dishes!"

[superfrank]

Hamish, your dirty mind was working there!!

[hamish]

Hamish, your dirty mind was working there!!:

What I'm afraid of - what way was it working?? Oh, I get ya.

I "composed" a poem in tottyland about Frosty the Snowman, supefrank, which might explain.

[Hulsey]

Due to Man Utds early exit from European competition this week, their is to be a minutes laughter held at all Premiership grounds this weekend.

[hamish]

Due to Man Utds early exit from European competition this week, their is to be a minutes laughter held at all Premiership grounds this weekend

RFLMAO Brilliant

[sfc red]

Jaysus I don't get that one either?? Sorry too sfc red

Macadamian nut...His first name is Damien...

[ollie]

RFLMAO

excuse my ignorance but what does that stand for?

[paul_oshea]

roll on the floor laughin my ass off.

its geek speak.

[hamish]

Macadamian nut...His first name is Damien...

Sorry we're a bit thick down these parts...still don't get it.

[hamish]

roll on the floor laughin my ass off.

its geek speak.

Ah get up the yard you, baldy-boy

[superfrank]

What I'm afraid of - what way was it working?? Oh, I get ya.

I "composed" a poem in tottyland about Frosty the Snowman, supefrank, which might explain.

Yeah I saw it. Nicely done. I'm boycotting Totty Watch cos of Peadar.

[sligoman]

Due to Man Utds early exit from European competition this week, their is to be a minutes laughter held at all Premiership grounds this weekend.

Ah feck off!. I wouldn't mind if it was funny.