"The Transit Van" - Seamus Moore

**boysingreen** · 26/10/2005, 9:35 AM

Well I was pretty surprised when I decided to look up the lyrics of the "Transit Van" and couldn't find them. It's a classic. Anyone know em? I'm scratching my head at bits here and there. May have mixed up the order on a verse or two too, missing part of a verse, as I don't have it handy to listen to as I type.

Help!
===

Margaret Thatcher talkin on TV,
looks so sincere as she says to me,
There'd be no unemployment if,
you all used a bit of initiative
I was on the dole I was broken more?
Says I, I'd take her at her word
Got a lone from the credit and union man,
And bought meself a transit van.

Me next step up the ladder now,
I bought meself an auld fat sow,
Cross the border by legally?,
Collected a common market subsidy,
Signed all the forms and gave back the pen (*favorite line lol),
Smuggled the sow back home again,
Ten times a day I worked this plan,
Meself, and the sow, and the transit van,

Travel sickness the sow picked up,
Says I, it's time to diversify,
Took all me money from the biscuit tin,
Filled the van to the roof with whiskey and gin,
Around the South me wares I'd sell,
In public houses and hotels,
There was never a guard nor a customs man,
Put his nose inside the transit van,

At festivals and fleadhs and fairs,
If the craic was good you'd find me there,
At all big matches in Croke Park,
And I danced with Springstein in the dark,
I fought with the tinkers in Ballinasloe,
I danced on streets around Listowell,
Mothers had their daughters warned,
To keep well away from the transit van,

*Missing the most of a verse here, remember the end:
I got her turned,
The engine roared and the tires burned,
Five patrol cars fully-manned,
Were in hot pursuit of the transit van

??? was I to go, I was heading for the county Mayo,
Round the corner I hit? a dog,
Went over the ditch landed in the bog,
I sat on a bank and watched all I owned,
Sinkin in a bog hole like a stone,
She was lying on the roof with the wheels still turning,
And the stereo playing Daniel O'Donnell.

Now I'm back where I first began,
No job, no money, but I 've a plan,
There's a girl down in Mullingar,
She can hold me future in her hand,
She doesn't look like a film star,
But she's been tellin me about her da,
He has no proper tea or land,
But he has two sows and a transit van,

The queen of England drives a Rolls Royce car,
her son Charlie has a Jaguar,
But when the Pope came to Ireland,
like myself,
He drove around in a transit van.

**paul_oshea** · 26/10/2005, 7:37 PM

i know it, seamus moore so it is. the "hoor" on tour, he stayed in our b and b at home LOL. funy song check out richie kavanaghs song about getting yoru balls at bingo etc. its a funny song.

a friend of mine sings that at weddings and the likes tis awful funny.

**ghirl76** · 27/06/2006, 10:03 AM

I came looking for the lyrics for this song too and had to laugh when I read 'He has no proper tea or land', hehe. I think it's 'He has no property or land' though that's not to say that yer man does have proper tea!

**paul_oshea** · 27/06/2006, 10:17 AM

ya its he has no property or land. all he has is his transit van.

**ghirl76** · 27/06/2006, 10:33 AM

I know this thread was originally posted ages ago but this is what I've found (some of the words are slightly different and the first line is missing): http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/fo...ransit_Van.htm

**Magicme** · 29/06/2006, 1:18 PM

The verision thats sung by my brothers mates at our house every Christmas has him driving around Monaghan and into the north at Armagh....very funny song...will ask my bros mates for the lyrics if I can get them will post them.

**paul_oshea** · 29/06/2006, 4:56 PM

well surely its your bros mate who made it up???

**Magicme** · 29/06/2006, 5:45 PM

no....there is a guy from Monaghan who did record it tho.

**paul_oshea** · 29/06/2006, 6:12 PM

Seamus moore? is he not from there, or are you saying another guy recorded his version?

**Magicme** · 29/06/2006, 6:23 PM

Maybe that was him.....not sure

**monutdfc** · 29/06/2006, 6:38 PM

I have this on tape somehwere!

I think it won the best original lyric at Fleadh Ceoil na hEireann in 1991 (could have been some other song competition though, but it definitely won something in 1991).

**monutdfc** · 29/06/2006, 6:41 PM

Just looked at the lyric above and the one I have is a different version - in it the stereo was definitely playing "Farewell to Eireann"!

**tetsujin1979** · 29/06/2006, 9:42 PM

Coincidentally enough, this popped into my inbox a few days ago...

The Hi Ace Van

Well Maggie Thatcher speakin on TV
Seemed so sincere when she says to me
There'd be no unemployment if
You'd all use a bit of initiative
I was on the dole I was broke and bored
Says I I'll take her at her word
Got a lone from the credit union man
And I bought myself a Hi Ace Van

The next step up the ladder now
I bought myself an old fat sow
I crossed over the border quite legally
And collected the EU subsidy
Signed all the forms handed back the pen
Then smuggled me pig back home again
Ten times a day we'd work this plan
Myself the sow and the Hi Ace Van

Of travel sickness the old sow died
So I thought it was time I diversified
I took all the money from the biscuit tin
Filled the van to the roof with whiskey and gin
Around the South my wares I'd sell
In public houses and hotels
There was never a guard nor a customs man
Got his nose inside that Hi Ace Van

At festivals and Fleadhs and fairs
If the craic was good you would find me there
At all big matches in Croke Park
And I've danced with Springsteen in the Dark
I fought with tinkers in Ballinasloe
I've danced in the streets around Listowel
Mothers had their daughters warned
Stay well away from that Hi Ace Van

But it being Lent and the drink trade slow
I took to carrying videos
While on the road to Ballybay
Found a customs roadblock in me way
To face the border I got her turned
The engine roared and the tyres burned
There were five patrol cars fully manned
In hot pursuit of the Hi Ace Van

Through Clontbrit I did run
As quick as Peter Robinson
Going round the corner I hit a dog
Went over the hedge into Galla bog
Well I sat on the bank and watched all I owned
Sinking in the bog hole like a stone
She was lying on her roof and the wheels still turning
And the radio playing ""Farewell to Erin""

So now I'm back where I first began
No job no money but I have a plan
There's a wee girl down in Mullaban
She could hold my future in her hand
Now she doesn't look like a film star
But she's been telling me about her Da!
He owns no property or land
But he has two sows and a Hi Ace Van

The Queen of England drives a Rolls Royce car
Her son Charlie drives a Jag-u-ar
But when the Pope came to I-re-land
He drove around in a Hi Ace Van.

**Magicme** · 30/06/2006, 9:32 AM

Originally Posted by tetsujin1979

Coincidentally enough, this popped into my inbox a few days ago...

But it being Lent and the drink trade slow
I took to carrying videos
While on the road to Ballybay
Found a customs roadblock in me way
To face the border I got her turned
The engine roared and the tyres burned
There were five patrol cars fully manned
In hot pursuit of the Hi Ace Van

Through Clontbrit I did run
As quick as Peter Robinson
Going round the corner I hit a dog
Went over the hedge into Galla bog
Well I sat on the bank and watched all I owned
Sinking in the bog hole like a stone
She was lying on her roof and the wheels still turning
And the radio playing ""Farewell to Erin""

What a slip of the spelling.......just coz Peter Robinson is mentioned in next line!

This is the version that I have heard only its Transit van not hiace.

Do u remember when Peter Robinson came through Clontibret?? The BBC etc pronounced it funny. Grew up just down the road from there and it was great excitement at the time.