Fantastic. How would I go about getting one of these season tickets?
League of Ireland is, loike, so beneath me!
OK get this. I think I have the answer. I am going to register this club in the UK and start building a ground somewhere in the home counties. The name of the club will be Identity Crisis FC and they will play are Pint O' the Blackstuff Park.
I mentioned this idea casually to a bloke down the pub last night and when I woke up this morning I had over 100 Million Euros in start-up funds by soccer mad Irish businessmen dying to invest in my new club, a letter of congradulations from the Dail, an Aertel page of my own on the RTE site and a cast iron promise that Identity Crisis FC would be the first story on every RTE Sports report. Pat Kenny has already booked me to talk about the greatest sensation in Irish soccer since Sunderland became Irish.
I already am planning the TV ads and RTE are giving me the slots for free which they will play constantly. The ad will show Finn McCool building the giants causeways and a voice over will announce "the Irish are coming" and behind Finn will be thousands of knackers, skangers and investment bankers as well as Brit hating GAA supporters charging across the giants causeway to watch Identity Crisis FC do battle with the aul enemy at Pint O' the Blackstuff Park. While a Riverdance soundtrack plays - at the head of them will be Roddy Collins and Bertie and his two grandchildren "Slasher" and "Dog Biscuits" or whatever they were named, leading the charge with tears in their eyes. He is having a word with Minister for Transport, Dempsey to build an airport right next to Pint O' the Blackstuff Park for the 30,000 soccer mad Irish public who have already purchased season tickets so they can get in and out easy enough. When the Irish sports journalists heard of my plan they went into a state of rapture forgetting their appointments at the rehab clinic.
I need some top players from the LOI - I have already offered a fiver and an Xtravision DVD voucher as transfer payments and already I have 100 players from LOI club officials only too glad to help.
Trap will be flying out to watch the first match against Gladstones Imperials in the Arkwrights Black Pudding and Suet League which is now "our" league. A linguistics course is also being run by the club to teach soccer mad Irish patriots how to say "we", "us" and "them" when talking about Identity Crisis FC and who were are playing.
Identity Crisis FC - "We'll Keep the Green Flaging Flying Over Here."
Fantastic. How would I go about getting one of these season tickets?
League of Ireland is, loike, so beneath me!
Are you insane?
The HSE have already offered to implant the Season Tickets in the form of DNA coding within the bodies of all new born Irish children. There are currently 12 stands of human DNA, of which only 2 are currently understood. The HSE will be altering the remaining unknown 10 strands of Irish DNA to spell out "GLADSTONE IMPERIALS ARE RUBBISH" and this will be scanned by a biometric viewer (donated by the Irish Data Protection Office) at the turnstiles at Pint O' Black Stuff Park.
Sorry, have to run - The Sunday Tribune is on the phone offering me 12 colour spread pages for our upcoming game against Witham Saxe-Gothe Albion which should be great craic as they have about 14 supporters clubs in Ireland. A great day for Irish soccer coming up.
As Chairman of the Official Supporters Club, I express the hope that First Team Manager, former hardman, Dave 'Bite' Turner Barry-Murphy can find some success after his 40 million Sterling (convert to Irish Punts later) at the beginning of the season. I am quoted " The Black 'n' Tans are going to stay up".
" I'll go right up to here,
it can't possibly hurt.
All they will find is my
beer and my shirt."
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend
-
Trappattoni+Tardelli+Brady=Holy Trinity of Irish Football
Eh..LOI fans don't have a bad name. It's the likes of you who do.
Ireland4Ever is a bad name imo
Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend
-
Trappattoni+Tardelli+Brady=Holy Trinity of Irish Football
Well I laughed, but then I have a sense of humour Where can I sign up to this thrilling dynamo of a new club?
For all the latest League of Ireland news visit www.extratime.ie
Bookmarks