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Thread: "The Transit Van" - Seamus Moore

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    "The Transit Van" - Seamus Moore

    Well I was pretty surprised when I decided to look up the lyrics of the "Transit Van" and couldn't find them. It's a classic. Anyone know em? I'm scratching my head at bits here and there. May have mixed up the order on a verse or two too, missing part of a verse, as I don't have it handy to listen to as I type.

    Help!
    ===

    Margaret Thatcher talkin on TV,
    looks so sincere as she says to me,
    There'd be no unemployment if,
    you all used a bit of initiative
    I was on the dole I was broken more?
    Says I, I'd take her at her word
    Got a lone from the credit and union man,
    And bought meself a transit van.

    Me next step up the ladder now,
    I bought meself an auld fat sow,
    Cross the border by legally?,
    Collected a common market subsidy,
    Signed all the forms and gave back the pen (*favorite line lol),
    Smuggled the sow back home again,
    Ten times a day I worked this plan,
    Meself, and the sow, and the transit van,

    Travel sickness the sow picked up,
    Says I, it's time to diversify,
    Took all me money from the biscuit tin,
    Filled the van to the roof with whiskey and gin,
    Around the South me wares I'd sell,
    In public houses and hotels,
    There was never a guard nor a customs man,
    Put his nose inside the transit van,

    At festivals and fleadhs and fairs,
    If the craic was good you'd find me there,
    At all big matches in Croke Park,
    And I danced with Springstein in the dark,
    I fought with the tinkers in Ballinasloe,
    I danced on streets around Listowell,
    Mothers had their daughters warned,
    To keep well away from the transit van,

    *Missing the most of a verse here, remember the end:
    I got her turned,
    The engine roared and the tires burned,
    Five patrol cars fully-manned,
    Were in hot pursuit of the transit van

    ??? was I to go, I was heading for the county Mayo,
    Round the corner I hit? a dog,
    Went over the ditch landed in the bog,
    I sat on a bank and watched all I owned,
    Sinkin in a bog hole like a stone,
    She was lying on the roof with the wheels still turning,
    And the stereo playing Daniel O'Donnell.

    Now I'm back where I first began,
    No job, no money, but I 've a plan,
    There's a girl down in Mullingar,
    She can hold me future in her hand,
    She doesn't look like a film star,
    But she's been tellin me about her da,
    He has no proper tea or land,
    But he has two sows and a transit van,

    The queen of England drives a Rolls Royce car,
    her son Charlie has a Jaguar,
    But when the Pope came to Ireland,
    like myself,
    He drove around in a transit van.

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    i know it, seamus moore so it is. the "hoor" on tour, he stayed in our b and b at home LOL. funy song check out richie kavanaghs song about getting yoru balls at bingo etc. its a funny song.

    a friend of mine sings that at weddings and the likes tis awful funny.
    I'm a bloke,I'm an ocker
    And I really love your knockers,I'm a labourer by day,
    I **** up all me pay,Watching footy on TV,
    Just feed me more VB,Just pour my beer,And get my smokes, And go away

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    I came looking for the lyrics for this song too and had to laugh when I read 'He has no proper tea or land', hehe. I think it's 'He has no property or land' though that's not to say that yer man does have proper tea!

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    ya its he has no property or land. all he has is his transit van.
    I'm a bloke,I'm an ocker
    And I really love your knockers,I'm a labourer by day,
    I **** up all me pay,Watching footy on TV,
    Just feed me more VB,Just pour my beer,And get my smokes, And go away

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    I know this thread was originally posted ages ago but this is what I've found (some of the words are slightly different and the first line is missing): http://www.traditionalmusic.co.uk/fo...ransit_Van.htm

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    The verision thats sung by my brothers mates at our house every Christmas has him driving around Monaghan and into the north at Armagh....very funny song...will ask my bros mates for the lyrics if I can get them will post them.
    Mons in the Premier 2012, thanks be to Rod!

    http://www.monaghanunited.tv

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    well surely its your bros mate who made it up???
    I'm a bloke,I'm an ocker
    And I really love your knockers,I'm a labourer by day,
    I **** up all me pay,Watching footy on TV,
    Just feed me more VB,Just pour my beer,And get my smokes, And go away

  8. #8
    purely decorative Magicme's Avatar
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    no....there is a guy from Monaghan who did record it tho.
    Mons in the Premier 2012, thanks be to Rod!

    http://www.monaghanunited.tv

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    Seamus moore? is he not from there, or are you saying another guy recorded his version?
    I'm a bloke,I'm an ocker
    And I really love your knockers,I'm a labourer by day,
    I **** up all me pay,Watching footy on TV,
    Just feed me more VB,Just pour my beer,And get my smokes, And go away

  10. #10
    purely decorative Magicme's Avatar
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    Maybe that was him.....not sure
    Mons in the Premier 2012, thanks be to Rod!

    http://www.monaghanunited.tv

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    I have this on tape somehwere!
    I think it won the best original lyric at Fleadh Ceoil na hEireann in 1991 (could have been some other song competition though, but it definitely won something in 1991).

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    Just looked at the lyric above and the one I have is a different version - in it the stereo was definitely playing "Farewell to Eireann"!

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    Coincidentally enough, this popped into my inbox a few days ago...

    The Hi Ace Van


    Well Maggie Thatcher speakin on TV
    Seemed so sincere when she says to me
    There'd be no unemployment if
    You'd all use a bit of initiative
    I was on the dole I was broke and bored
    Says I I'll take her at her word
    Got a lone from the credit union man
    And I bought myself a Hi Ace Van

    The next step up the ladder now
    I bought myself an old fat sow
    I crossed over the border quite legally
    And collected the EU subsidy
    Signed all the forms handed back the pen
    Then smuggled me pig back home again
    Ten times a day we'd work this plan
    Myself the sow and the Hi Ace Van

    Of travel sickness the old sow died
    So I thought it was time I diversified
    I took all the money from the biscuit tin
    Filled the van to the roof with whiskey and gin
    Around the South my wares I'd sell
    In public houses and hotels
    There was never a guard nor a customs man
    Got his nose inside that Hi Ace Van

    At festivals and Fleadhs and fairs
    If the craic was good you would find me there
    At all big matches in Croke Park
    And I've danced with Springsteen in the Dark
    I fought with tinkers in Ballinasloe
    I've danced in the streets around Listowel
    Mothers had their daughters warned
    Stay well away from that Hi Ace Van

    But it being Lent and the drink trade slow
    I took to carrying videos
    While on the road to Ballybay
    Found a customs roadblock in me way
    To face the border I got her turned
    The engine roared and the tyres burned
    There were five patrol cars fully manned
    In hot pursuit of the Hi Ace Van

    Through Clontbrit I did run
    As quick as Peter Robinson
    Going round the corner I hit a dog
    Went over the hedge into Galla bog
    Well I sat on the bank and watched all I owned
    Sinking in the bog hole like a stone
    She was lying on her roof and the wheels still turning
    And the radio playing ""Farewell to Erin""

    So now I'm back where I first began
    No job no money but I have a plan
    There's a wee girl down in Mullaban
    She could hold my future in her hand
    Now she doesn't look like a film star
    But she's been telling me about her Da!
    He owns no property or land
    But he has two sows and a Hi Ace Van

    The Queen of England drives a Rolls Royce car
    Her son Charlie drives a Jag-u-ar
    But when the Pope came to I-re-land
    He drove around in a Hi Ace Van.
    All goals, yellow and red cards tweeted in real time: http://twitter.com/irish_abroad and posted to facebook: https://www.facebook.com/irishfootballstatisics

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    Quote Originally Posted by tetsujin1979
    Coincidentally enough, this popped into my inbox a few days ago...


    But it being Lent and the drink trade slow
    I took to carrying videos
    While on the road to Ballybay
    Found a customs roadblock in me way
    To face the border I got her turned
    The engine roared and the tyres burned
    There were five patrol cars fully manned
    In hot pursuit of the Hi Ace Van

    Through Clontbrit I did run
    As quick as Peter Robinson
    Going round the corner I hit a dog
    Went over the hedge into Galla bog
    Well I sat on the bank and watched all I owned
    Sinking in the bog hole like a stone
    She was lying on her roof and the wheels still turning
    And the radio playing ""Farewell to Erin""
    What a slip of the spelling.......just coz Peter Robinson is mentioned in next line!

    This is the version that I have heard only its Transit van not hiace.

    Do u remember when Peter Robinson came through Clontibret?? The BBC etc pronounced it funny. Grew up just down the road from there and it was great excitement at the time.
    Mons in the Premier 2012, thanks be to Rod!

    http://www.monaghanunited.tv

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    ya this is transit van. its seamus moore. we are all on about the same version.
    I'm a bloke,I'm an ocker
    And I really love your knockers,I'm a labourer by day,
    I **** up all me pay,Watching footy on TV,
    Just feed me more VB,Just pour my beer,And get my smokes, And go away

  16. #16
    purely decorative Magicme's Avatar
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    Wow a whole topic of people agreeing!!!!
    Mons in the Premier 2012, thanks be to Rod!

    http://www.monaghanunited.tv

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    anybody got an mp3 of the transit van??

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    Seasoned Pro Paddyfield's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Magicme
    Wow a whole topic of people agreeing!!!!

    Sorry Magicme, you're wrong!!!!



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    Nobody knows us, we don't care

  19. #19
    purely decorative Magicme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paddyfield
    Sorry Magicme, you're wrong!!!!



    .
    I agree.....
    Mons in the Premier 2012, thanks be to Rod!

    http://www.monaghanunited.tv

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    Legend in Montenegro. Fair play to the Limerick lads.
    In Trap we trust

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