Alternative Predictions for 2009

[pineapple stu]

Number of times Fran Gavin brings the league into disrepute through his comments in the media - 73
Amount of fines for the above - nil
Mr A's preferred method of suicide come June - Carrying out Maxi's threat
Average age of UCD's first line-up of the season - 3 years 25 days
Number of posters pineapple stu can say "I told you so" come November - 2109
Bohs' wages to turnover ratio for 2009 - 251%
Smugness factor in Tallaght come November - 10000000000%

[Mr A]

Mr A's preferred method of suicide come June - Carrying out Maxi's threat

You expect me to move Dundalk into the Irish League? This indeed would be a most stylish way to shuffle of this mortal coil.

[holidaysong]

First Club to miss wage payments: Cork City
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Athlone Town
First club to enter examinership: Cork City
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Cobh Ramblers
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: 18%

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 3
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: Referee being attacked.
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: 1
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 0
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: November
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 4 (5 if you include the one he has already received.)
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 7
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: 8 months
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: April 1st
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: I don't see Stephen Kenny getting fired.
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: 4
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: 6+5
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 365

[dublinred]

First Club to miss wage payments:Cork
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Bohs
First club to enter examinership:Bohs
First Club (if any) to go under completely: Cobh
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: 0

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 3
Most bizarre reason for points deduction:Match fixing
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: Not theres to sell anymore
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 0 Lessons learned
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: March
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 3
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 10
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: Depends on the courts
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: June
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK:May
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght:Ask the council
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: 5
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year:none they will be gone soon

[hoop4life]

First Club to miss wage payments: drogheda/athlone
First Club to transfer list entire squad: same as previous
First club to enter examinership: same as previous
First Club (if any) to go under completely: same as previous
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: depends on the reputation of the club

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: ???
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: two players from same team have a fight
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: none
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: none
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: November
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 15
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 30
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: 6 months
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: April 1st
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: april
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: 8
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: 4
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 36

[WoodquayBoy]

We can't enter examinership as we are a members club and not a limited company.

Oh, ye'll find a way!!!!!!!!

[brianw82]

First Club to miss wage payments: Cork (obviously it's already happened)
First Club to transfer list entire squad: Sligo (wait for it)
First club to enter examinership: Cork. Once you pop, you can't stop!
First Club (if any) to go under completely: poor wee Cobh
Likelihood of FAI having the balls to do anything meaningful about any of the above: Ladbrokes are currently installing a new super computer to calculate the odds. They're that small.

Number of clubs to gain asterisks this season: 3
Most bizarre reason for points deduction: Sligo replacing most of our team with members of the Chain Gang and Chippendales in an effort to attract the women (and hence, the children) into the Showgrounds from the beach. Their inherent sexiness blinds the opposition players, we win every game 1-0 and are crowned champions. Unfortunately, we are charged with bringing the game into disrepute and docked 40 points for being too sexy.
Number of times Bohs will sell Dalymount this year: 1
Number of times Bohs lose court cases: 1
In what month will Georgie leave Dundalk after a bust up: July
Number of times Mental Mickey will receive red cards: 8. New hospital proudly opened in Dundalk in June to cater for players injured by wee Mickey, hi.
Number of players Roddy will mention that he signed or tried to sign previously: 25
Average time required to get a transfer fee owed by Derry City: 1 year
Month in which Sligo come up with their next scare story involving baby seals under threat of execution to raise funds: Writers from Home & Away are currently employed to come up with the next reason. Due to the time difference, I'd say it'll be Friday week when it's ready.
Month in which Jeff Kenna jumps ship to move back to UK: April. He has to go and look after his sick granny in Birmingham. Takes the Newcastle job a week later.
Number of different colours used for seats in the new stand in Tallaght: 12 shades of pink. Installed by Wallace Fashions, Wexford.
Number of weeks before Hegarty loses it completely and batters the entire Harps squad, and how many times he uses the phrase 'to be perfectly honest' before that happens: 4
Number of EGMs Cobh will have this year: 1 for every day they're still around

[micls]

On the people naming us for examinership, you dont get examinership the second time. Straight into receivership and liquidation

[Dodge]

On the people naming us for examinership, you dont get examinership the second time. Straight into receivership and liquidation

Oi Scully, your logic ain't wanted in this thread!!!

[Réiteoir]

May I add another category?

Number of times someone whinges about there being no coverage of their tinpot First Division club or the First Division in General

[brianw82]

So who predicted most accurately?

[Martinho II]

We didnt have 1 egm this year, woo-hoo. And were still going too for those of ye who doubted us. Not that were going too well or anything

how did ye finish in the A league bellavistaman and did many of yer players stay from the previous season before last?

[Martinho II]

Bottom, and just the 1. AND were paying our manager 500 a week BUT were still standing and not 1 egm, the question was who would be the first club to go and how many egms would cobh have, nothing to do with how many players we'd keep or where we'd finish

this is going to be my last question bellavistaman I promise.. who managed ye this last season? first club to go will be derry city and no egms for cobh!