Reuters news agency are reporting that NATO have authorised a “shock and awe” attack on FIFA headquarters in Zurich. This amazing development comes in the midst of accusations of corruption and misappropriation of funds at the highest level of world football’s governing body. It is understood that the UN Security Council are keen to bring about regime change at the organisation which has been ruled with an iron fist by Swiss overlord Sepp Blatter since 1998.

FIFA has been at the centre of major scandal recently with the awarding of the 2018 World Cup to Roman Abramovich’s Russian bid™ and the 2022 World Cup to the oil-rich state of Qatar shrouded in bribery allegations. Speaking from his golden throne in Zurich, Blatter denied all of these as unfounded rumours although it was difficult to hear him over the rattling of jewellery and giggling of high-class escorts. He also defended the surprise move to award the 2020 European Championships to Brunei.
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