We Play On Fridays

Shamrock Rovers supporter’s clubs have announced a boycott of all Bohemians merchandise and goods amid concerns over the threat their club faces from the Dalymount outfit.

The action follows closely on the heels of similarly effective action at Derry City last week, when hundreds of Hoops fans forsook the pleasure of a nine hour round trip to the North to make the arduous journey to their nearest television instead.

A statement posted on the club’s website states: ‘It is with great regret that the various Shamrock Rovers supporters groups have decided to cancel all orders for Bohemians merchandise. This unprecedented measure has been taken because of genuine fears for the safety of Shamrock Rovers’ league position, the potential damage to hired players and the frontline risks involved for our coach.’

The statement continued: “This boycott includes all Bohemians-themed scarves, mugs, posters, stickers, novelty hats, those little things that go at the end of pencils that no-one really knows what to do with, and Pat Fenlon’s recently published autobiography, ‘Short and Sweet.’ This concerted action from fans of Shamrock Rovers is intended to starve Bohemians of much-needed cash, the huge loss of which will surely bring about their downfall.”

We spoke to one supporter outside Tallagh Stadium today. Clad in a green and white superhero outfit with a black cape, he asked not to be named in this report. “Of course it’s going to be difficult and there are those at the club who are worried. I mean, things like scarves, hats, mugs and the like are fairly easy to get a hold off, but where else am I going to get a fridge magnet of Pat Fenlon’s face or the commemorative ‘Friends of Bohs’ postage stamp. My daughter buys all of the Killian Brennan make-up range for God’s sake!”

Several other must-have items will surely test the resolve of the most committed boycotter. The club’s accounts for the past five years are known to be available in a special souvenir ‘back of a beermat’ special edition along with several unsold Jason Byrne exercise videos.

“They won’t say it aloud obviously,” our source went on, “but there’s definitely an uneasiness about the place. That could just be down to Alan Mannus’ facial hair though.”

Taken from We Play On Fridays- the only online LOI fanzine
Write for WPOF